What Do I Know About Me
Who is the most famous person on the face of the earth? Obviously, its now me. I am the person the people of the world have decided to address only as “Mister Plutonium!” As you all know, I am not fond of that super hero title. I have given myself a normal name but you have categorically rejected my real name and only refer to me as Mister Plutonium. I have come to accept that fact and respond accordingly.
Most of you good people know me as the savior of many, the enemy of all evil and the scapegoat of some. Many of you fear me, even though I have never showed malice type aggression toward any innocent human being. I have bent rivers for you, I have turned back asteroids to protect this planet and I continue to eliminate the worst of the super powered villains who continue to appear and apparently live for mayhem and destruction.
I have even listened to, and obeyed, the United Nation General Assembly conclusions on my past, present, and future actions... and its member's need to control me. The members unanimously ordered me to leave the lower level criminals alone so that the police forces of the world could do their jobs properly… and essentially ordered me to continue on with what they told me was to be my higher purpose -- to catch the super powered criminals!
I have complied without an issue! The Assembly does not want me to become god-like to the world populace, and I agree! But even with all this world government activity, centering around me, taking place in the space of five years, there is still something that all of you, and I, need to know about me! As in, just who in the hell am I? I have thought about this a lot lately and have decided to write a short bio of what I have come to accept as to who, and what, I am... before I tell the world of a conclusion about myself that I have come to. Here we go!
I do not consider myself to be a great writer, but I can put a few words to paper. As I write these chapters, from week to week, I will post them to my Mister Plutonium blog page. And when I get to the last chapter, I will bind it all into a book. Or, maybe I will publish sooner. I will keep you all informed as to my progress.
This painting of me was produced by Master Lejuan Jones. He presented it to me three months after I extracted him from the carnage aftermath of the explosive attack on the Pentagon by the evil psychopath, Sir. Mayhem! I believe this painting captures exactly what I look like. Yes… that is me!
Let us begin at the beginning...
***
What do I know about me? I only wish I knew enough about my origin, my beginning, my birth and myself to write a true autobiographical journal about who I am before the day of my discovery. I do not know those type of answers about myself. I will do my best as I write down these words of self reflection to ease the fears of this world about my very existence. I know that the world at large fears me, but I am here to stay and I'm not harmful to the general public... and that I am not going anywhere.
It is very true that I do not remember anything about myself past five years ago. The day I was discovered unconscious, floating in the middle of a lava lake on the Kilauea volcano in Hawaii was a day the entire world stopped for 48 straight hours as the geologist with the U.S. Geological Survey’s Hawaiian Volcano Observatory attempted to fish me out of the hell hot molten rock.
One of the geologist, whom I have always referred to as M, because I promised to respect his personal identity, eventually figured out the way to extract me from the lava... by helicopter retrofitted with a series of heat resistant metal hooks that, when dropped over me, grabbed me by my left ankle and my right wrist. Whatever it took to get the job done is what he suggested.
The scientists, at first, thought I was a human shaped blob of floating material that might be of unknown origin... and radioactive. That information immediately got out into the public and within an hour of first report, Fox News was reporting that an unknown radioactive material had been discovered and the world at large was now in danger of the apocalypse starting right there in Hawaii!
And as you will discover, or already know, I hate Fox news and the lying bastards who call themselves journalist and populate that cesspool of gossip, ignorance and hatred! ... My opinion! You remember my interview with O'Reilly... the one where he called me a godless abomination? Yea, that interview...!
Anyway...
Cameras of news organizations unknown to me fed images of my extraction to greedy television feeds around the world. Everyone on earth now knew that an unburned humanoid creature had just been lifted out of 1100 degrees of pure Hawaii lava.
How was that possible? And was this an actual hoax? And, if this was real… what type of material was that which could resist that kind of heat? The people of the many nations around the world demanded an answer to each of these questions… and more!
And, of course, at the moment of my extraction from the lava lake absolutely no one could have imagined that I was alive. Actually, the scientists, the engineers and the helicopter pilots did think I was some bizarre joke that had been played on them all. Apparently, a whole lot of people at the Hawaiian Volcano Observatory were about to get the shock of their lives.
What do I know about me? I only wish I knew enough about my origin, my beginning, my birth and myself to write a true autobiographical journal about who I am before the day of my discovery. I do not know those type of answers about myself. I will do my best as I write down these words of self reflection to ease the fears of this world about my very existence. I know that the world at large fears me, but I am here to stay and I'm not harmful to the general public... and that I am not going anywhere.
It is very true that I do not remember anything about myself past five years ago. The day I was discovered unconscious, floating in the middle of a lava lake on the Kilauea volcano in Hawaii was a day the entire world stopped for 48 straight hours as the geologist with the U.S. Geological Survey’s Hawaiian Volcano Observatory attempted to fish me out of the hell hot molten rock.
One of the geologist, whom I have always referred to as M, because I promised to respect his personal identity, eventually figured out the way to extract me from the lava... by helicopter retrofitted with a series of heat resistant metal hooks that, when dropped over me, grabbed me by my left ankle and my right wrist. Whatever it took to get the job done is what he suggested.
The scientists, at first, thought I was a human shaped blob of floating material that might be of unknown origin... and radioactive. That information immediately got out into the public and within an hour of first report, Fox News was reporting that an unknown radioactive material had been discovered and the world at large was now in danger of the apocalypse starting right there in Hawaii!
And as you will discover, or already know, I hate Fox news and the lying bastards who call themselves journalist and populate that cesspool of gossip, ignorance and hatred! ... My opinion! You remember my interview with O'Reilly... the one where he called me a godless abomination? Yea, that interview...!
Anyway...
Cameras of news organizations unknown to me fed images of my extraction to greedy television feeds around the world. Everyone on earth now knew that an unburned humanoid creature had just been lifted out of 1100 degrees of pure Hawaii lava.
How was that possible? And was this an actual hoax? And, if this was real… what type of material was that which could resist that kind of heat? The people of the many nations around the world demanded an answer to each of these questions… and more!
And, of course, at the moment of my extraction from the lava lake absolutely no one could have imagined that I was alive. Actually, the scientists, the engineers and the helicopter pilots did think I was some bizarre joke that had been played on them all. Apparently, a whole lot of people at the Hawaiian Volcano Observatory were about to get the shock of their lives.
-- end of chapter one --
MP
MP
